Hospital Visits Need Not Be Challenging

When people find out I’m a hospital chaplain, questions and confessions often follow. Typical comments include “How can you do what you do?” and “Isn't it difficult to be around sick people all day?” They often follow these expressions by confessing hospitals make them uncomfortable.
 
I counter by explaining today’s hospitals are not the drab places people imagine. Most are bright and cheery. Some even have shopping mall areas that include coffee shops, florists, gift shops, a pharmacy, eating places and lounges where family and friends can gather for conversation. I note sick people are merely people like you and me who just happen to need a little extra support while going through a difficult time. I encourage people who are uncomfortable in hospitals to focus on the patient rather than their discomfort. Family and friend visits are powerful medicine. They encourage patients to maintain a positive outlook which is an important part of healing. 

Once past phobias, people tend to reveal another reason they avoid hospital visits. "I just don't know what to do once I'm there," one man told me. He was afraid he'd say or do something to make things worse for the patient. I assured him a verbal faux pas is unlikely to have more than a momentary impact.  Being there however may have a lasting impact. It communicates you care about the patient and that's great medicine.

I have a number of suggestions for anyone contemplating a hospital visit. Follow these tips and you'll not only avoid mistakes, the visit will likely be a joy for the patient and you.
 
Suggestion one: Call before visiting. Most hospitals eliminated designated visiting hours but it doesn’t hurt to check. You might also call the patient on their cell or room phone. The patient may not feel up to a visit or have tests or procedures scheduled at the time you plan to visit. A call will avoid an unnecessary drive.
 
Suggestion two: Always knock on the door (or the sill if the door is open) before entering the room. This little courtesy gives the patient a moment to prepare for a visitor. It is especially important if they are momentarily indisposed.
 
Suggestion three: Keep in mind a hospital visit is for the patient not the visitor. Permit the patient to take the lead in conversation. A person cooped up in a hospital room day and night is the recipient rather than originator of most conversations. Hospital staff are caring people but their jobs require they direct patient interaction. It’s a breath of fresh air when a visitor allows the patient to take the lead. Give them this gift.
 
Suggestion four: Permit the patient to express their thoughts and feelings freely. You can get a conversation started by asking them to tell why they're hospitalized and what’s been happening to them. Listen attentively but keep your talk to a minimum until the patient has clearly told you what they want you to know. 
 
Suggestion five: Avoid sharing stories about your or other people's illnesses, surgeries or injuries. The patient's concern at this time is and must be them. They are trying to get past an illness. Stories about others hold little meaning and may be depressing.

Suggestion six:  This should be obvious but you'd be surprised how often it occurs. In a visitor's nervousness over what to say, they often share a horror story about someone in a circumstance similar to the patient. Keep your conversation positive focused on the patient.
 
Suggestion seven:  Do not question the doctor’s diagnosis and treatment plan. Don't ask the patient if they considered a second opinion. These comments undermine confidence in their treatment and destroy a patient's morale. If you have a  concern, ask a nurse or doctor outside the room. Confidentiality laws may not permit them to say much but you can at least voice your concern and opinion.

Suggestion eight:  A word on religion. You may have strong religious beliefs but keep in mind a hospital visit is not the time to share them. Unless the patient specifically requests you share them (without prompting from you), keep your religious thoughts to yourself. Religion is powerful but also personal. 

Suggestion nine: Don’t stay too long. If you notice the patient is beginning to look agitated or tired, take that as your cue to leave.

​Making a sick call need not be difficult. Do it in a spirit of caring and your intuition will guide you.