Ten Things I've Learned As A Hospital Chaplain

​     I’ve been involved in hospital chaplaincy for years. I continue because chaplaincy gives me the opportunity to help others and learn from them. I deal with people of all ages and backgrounds. Absent lifestyle trappings (everybody looks much the same in a hospital gown) people become their true selves in the hospital. Conversations are direct and candid. Two-way communication is enhanced.
      Each week I meet wonderful people who come from many nations, have a variety of skin pigments, social standing, faiths and circumstances. Each provides insight into life and living not limited to their medical situation. I’ve find what I learn applies as much to my everyday living as it does to chaplain work. Perhaps the same will be true for you. With that in mind, here are some realizations I find particularly helpful:
 
  1,  When dealing with a individual in crisis, being there is superior to any other form of support. Being physically present communicates involvement, compassion,  strength, support and caring.  Extensive conversation is not required.
 
   2.  Labeling people according to any criteria is misleading and foolish. I find the term “elderly,” for example, is more applicable to an individual’s attitude than physical age. I’ve met ninety-year-olds who were more youthful than some of the forty-year-olds I’ve dealt with.
 
    3.  The human brain is more flexible and intricate than I imagined. I’ve seen people in coma return to consciousness aware of things that were going on around them  while they were in the coma. Based on these experiences, I’ve encouraged family members who wish to speak to a loved one in coma, to do so. I have also encouraged people desiring closure with an immediately deceased loved one to step up and express their feelings. We don’t know exactly when the spirit leaves the body.
 
    4.  It requires focus to perform something well. Success depends on doing what is needed when it is needed. With illness it is important to mentally focus on needs and positive possibilities. As a chaplain, it is my task to help people find, develop and focus on a sense of hope and peace so they can confidently receive treatment and move into the future.
 
    5.  When speaking with someone in crisis, it is important to help them put what is happening in perspective. Doing this keeps them from wallowing in anger, fear, guilt or anxiety. Interestingly, my success has rested as much on my ability to read body language as it has listening to what they tell me.  I find an individual’s voice and body often say vastly different things. Of the two, the body is the more reliable source.
 
    6.    It is helpful to talk about things as they are. Trying to sugar coat a situation is counterproductive.  When there is a death, use the word died rather than say things like “passed on.” Expressing reality in concrete terms helps people move through the shock of the event more quickly. This is true in all areas of life. Good news or bad, if we call things what they are, we are more likely to take appropriate actions.
 
    7.    While some people desire expressions of faith in a crisis, others do not. Both however, appreciate the presence of a caring individual who is there to comfort them.  Those wishing to avoid religious discussion usually want to talk through their situation free from suggestions of what a faith group thinks they should or should not do. It is important to support all individuals. Those who wish to keep their beliefs to themselves deserve caring without the pressure of conversion.  A medical crisis is the wrong time for preaching.
 
     8.  Never make assumptions about how someone feels in a health or other crisis. A chaplain or other support persons often arrives on the scene during the last 5 minutes of what may have been a lifetime of drama and illness. It is better to offer a simple greeting then ask the individual to share their thoughts. Let the person carry you to where they need to go.
 
   9. When you arrive at a hospital, whether as a patient or visitor, don’t be overwhelmed by the facility and circumstances. Keep in mind help is the reason for its existence. Don’t hesitate to ask questions/directions. Be friendly, permit others to assist you and you may be amazed how warm and cordial the place can be.  
 
    10.  In a hospital or other situation where caregivers are present, always try to acknowledge them. A simple hello is sufficient. Most will respond positively. Hospital and nursing home staff, police, firemen, paramedics and others often deal with high stress crises.  It helps them to know their efforts are recognized and appreciated. Give them this emotional boost.